Hurleysgivingpocalyptageddon: Double Dragon

Netflix has been throwing this out as a post-apocalyptic sci-fi option for some time, but I doubted that it really was. Until I saw that it took place in the far future of 2007, after the Big Quake.

This cover does not even remotely begin to portray the awesomeness of this movie.

This poster does not even remotely begin to portray the awesomeness of this movie.

Here’s a list of just a few of the amazingly awesome things in this movie:

  • After the quake, apparently the only jobs that b-list celebrities can get is to anchor the news. George Hamilton, Vanna White, and Andy Dick play themselves as the local news crew.
  • The Lee brothers, Marc Dacascos and Scott Wolf (who look nothing like brothers), have a station wagon with a flaming jet engine on the back. This jet engine seems to run on something that works a lot like the Mr. Fusion in Back to the Future.
  • There’s a street gang that has jackets covered in graffiti. They use them as near flawless urban camo.
  • The main bad guys henchmen have yin-yang signs painted in their hair. In their hair!
  • After one of the street gangs captures the ridiculously muscle suited bad guy, they torture him by tieing him up and feeding him nothing but spinach.
  • There’s a boat chase on a river of fire.
  • During a fight scene, one of the Lee brothers gets thrown into a bunch of arcade machines, including… Double Dragon.
  • It’s a great Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon connection.
  • The main bad guy is played by the T-1000, and he looks like this:
Hello, ladies.

Hello, ladies.

5 out of 5

I loved this movie. Loved it.